How many of you out there are Empire fans? Did you manage
to catch the episode in Season 1 where Jamal sang the best duet ever with Delphine?
Both the song and performance simply blew me away. But if you’re not an Empire follower
and have no clue what I’m talking about, let me back track a bit.
Empire is an
American TV musical drama series which centers on a hip hop music and entertainment company, Empire Entertainment. When Lucious Lyon, the founder and
CEO of Empire Entertainment learns that he has a disease that is going to
incapacitate him in three years, he is bent on grooming one of his three sons, Andre,
Jamal or Hakeem to take over the company. Complications arise when Cookie, Lucious’
ex-wife and co-founder of the company, is released from prison and wants to
reclaim her rightful place in the company.
The show has a wide variety of music that incorporates
Empire’s themes and plotlines, thanks to Timbaland, the show’s executive music
producer. But what many fans (and yours truly) consider its best song yet has
to be “Conqueror”. Performed by Jussie Smollett (who plays Jamal) and British
singer-songwriter Estelle (as Delphine), “Conqueror” is a beautiful duet that
will be stuck in your head forever once you hear it.
The lyrics are as powerful as its melody ("I'd
rather stand tall / Than live on my knees, / 'Cause I am a conqueror, / And I
won't accept defeat") and Estelle’s voice is perfectly in sync with Jussie’s oh-so-gorgeous
vocals (no wonder Columbia Records couldn’t wait to sign him!). Together, the
two singers make up an extraordinary and moving combination.
But hey, don’t just take my word for it; check out the
music video yourself. I have a feeling you’ll be hooked big-time!
For Malaysian viewers, you can catch the latest episode of
Empire Season 2 on Astro Star World channel 711 on Thursdays 9pm or Sundays
10.05pm.
Lately I’ve been wishing
that there are more than 24 hours in a day. In between holding a full-time job,
blogging, spending time with loved ones, eating, sleeping and keeping up with
the Kardashians, there’s just soooo much stuff to do.*wails*
Ever since I can remember,
reading has always been one of the things I absolutely enjoy doing. Nothing
beats curling up in a comfy spot and losing yourself in the pages of a good
book. Unfortunately, these days it’s been quite a challenge to even finish a
page, let alone a book. When a close friend and a fellow book lover said that
she hardly has time to read anymore, I can’t help but agree with her
whole-heartedly.
So
how do we so-called voracious readers manage our hectic lifestyles and still
find the time to indulge in our ultimate passion?
Check
out these tips that have helped other busy people make time for one of life’s
greatest pleasures and you might just fall head over heels in love with
reading, all over again:
Tip #1: Don't Leave The House Without Bringing Some Reading Material With You
This is a very practical tip. I always keep
a copy of The Reader’s Digest (my favorite magazine) in my handbag, or a book
or two tucked away in my car. In this day and age, you can also read stuff from
your smartphone and other mobile devices. You’ll be amazed at how much reading
you can do while waiting for your queue number to flash at the bank or at the
school gates during pickup time.
Tip #2: Spend Your Commuting Time To Read
Obviously
this is not a tip for those of you who drive to the office. But if you take the
train or bus to work, reading during your commute is a productive way to pass
the time. Just don’t be too engrossed in your reading until you miss your stop
and end up taking longer than necessary to get to the office or back
home!*grins*
Tip# 3: Read Books That You Actually Enjoy
If you only
prefer reading business books, that’s great, but if suspense novels are right
up your alley, then that’s fine too. Don’t listen to what others say you
“should” be reading or be pressured by the “Bestsellers List”; just read for
your own pleasure. You’ll find that you’ll make more time to read if what you
are reading brings you joy and excitement.
Tip# 4: Set Reading Goals
Set a daily time or page
limit. Challenge yourself to spend 30 minutes of reading time each day or to
read 40 pages each session before you put your book aside. Once you have set a
target for yourself, stick to it. Then slowly push the bar a little higher each
time and keep yourself motivated to accomplish your goal.
Tip# 5: Read More Than One Book At A Time
I used to be a serial reader – I pick up one
book and read it cover-to-cover before diving into another book. But over the
years, I’ve discovered that some books such as fiction novels are more suitable
for bed-time reading whereas motivational books or books on religion are best
read when the mind is fresh and alert. Reading multiple books enables you to
keep the momentum going – you can easily switch back and forth between a
serious book and a more lighthearted one, depending on your mood and the time
of day.
Tip# 6: Borrow/Buy More Books Than You Can Read (?)
I’m not so sure about this tip though. I have
a stack of books that I know need to be tackled at some point but seeing them
piled up in a corner doesn’t encourage me to actually pick one up. What that
does is just stress me out! Although this tip may not work for everyone, it
doesn’t hurt to give it a try if it makes you read more than what you have time
for.
Join
a reading club or book exchange club to get to know other avid readers. The KL
Book Exchange and the Subang Jaya Book Exchange are great examples in the Klang
Valley. Most of us need a push to get motivated and being part of a group will
encourage you to continue reading. If you do join one, don’t forget to share
these tips with your fellow club members!*winks*
Tip# 9: Try Speed-Reading (Or Not!)
Some people say that if you want to read more
in a short amount of time, you can learn to read faster. There are various
techniques for speed-reading that are easy to put into practice. These include
grouping words instead of reading word by word, making your eyes move quickly
by moving a ruler or pen across the page, or holding your breath and trying to
finish a paragraph in that time. But if you are like me and you want to savour
every written word at your own pace, this tip may not work for you.
Tip# 10: Track Your Progress
There
are many ways of doing this – a Pinterest board, a note on Facebook, a list on
your phone, your GoodReads account or an actual notebook. Keeping track of the
books that you have read and those that you would like to read later on will
help you focus on your reading.
So
there you go, folks, 10 useful tips to help us busy people make more time to
read.
Sunday, 6 March 2016 is Mother's Day in the UK and Ireland. As a special tribute to all mothers world-wide, check out this heart-warming video about a mother's unwavering love for her runaway daughter. Warning: You might want to keep some tissues handy.
I was doing an on-line search for
a place to stay for our weekend trip to Seremban when I came across the Palm
Seremban Hotel.
As usual, I had wanted to book a
room through Agoda.com, but somehow none was available in either Agoda or
booking.com. Not wanting to give up, I called the hotel directly and lucky for
me, I managed to book a Deluxe Room at RM198.00 nett with breakfast for 2
persons (slightly higher than Agoda’s rate but still a bargain).
The hotel was opened in June 2014
and is located right in the heart of Seremban city. It is connected to Palm Mall
which is the largest shopping complex in Seremban with over 180 retail shops, a
range of F&B outlets and a 10-screen movie theater (Golden Screen Cinema).
We had traveled to Seremban by
car and it was not difficult to find the hotel since it is merely 500 meters
from the Seremban toll exit off the PLUS highway.
Parking is available throughout
the multi-level car park in the Palm Mall but it’s more convenient for hotel
guests to park at either Level 5 or Level 6 since these two floors provided
direct access to the hotel. Those staying at the hotel need not pay for parking. Just get your ticket validated at the hotel reception on
Level UG and re-validate the ticket at the Auto-Pay machine on Level 5. If you
exit the car park, you will need to get a new ticket to enter the car park
again.
Our drive up to Level 5 on the
spiral car park ramp was quite scary due to the fairly sharp bends. Once we’ve
parked, we took the lift to the hotel reception on Level UG. Watch out for the uneven
step as you approach the lift foyer; I had almost tripped!
The reception counter with the hotel’s tagline “Your Lifestyle Hotel” in the background
Our spacious room on the 8th floor which came equipped with 2 comfortable Queen-sized beds, a 40” LED HD Smart TV with Hypp TV channels, mini fridge, iron/ironing board, safe box and free Wi-Fi.
Walking barefoot on the uncarpeted, cold floor tiles (which were painted to look like hardwood) may be uncomfortable but it’s good that bedroom slippers were provided
Love the huge wall mirror
It’s always nice to have coffee/tea-making facilities in the room
The large bathroom although unfortunately, there was no hot water at the sink
The next morning, we had our breakfast at the Sago Coffee House on Level 6 which serves a wide spread of local and continental dishes.
It’s not often that you find “lempeng” (traditional Malay pancake) at a hotel breakfast buffet but Sago Coffee House has a whole station offering both “lempeng pisang” (banana pancake) and “lempeng ubi” (tapioca pancake). Cooked in aromatic banana leaves, this yummy treat was a hit with the breakfast crowd.
Two thumbs up for the friendly and efficient breakfast service at Sago Coffee House
If you had a late night and did
not wake up in time for breakfast which is served until 10.30 am, there are many
small eateries in the surrounding area that are within walking distance.
There is also a “mamak”
restaurant right outside the hotel which is opened 23 hours instead of the
usual 24 (that 1 hour is needed for crew change I’m guessing).
After a long day out, Coco Lounge is the place to unwind in the evening with a drink in your hand while being entertained by live performance
The Spa & Wellness Center on Level 5 – each massage room has its own private jacuzzi
Overall, our stay at the Palm
Seremban Hotel was a pleasant one. The fact that the hotel is integrated with
the shopping mall makes it very convenient for anyone’s shopping, dining and
entertainment needs, especially for business travelers and those without their
own transport. The hotel has a 3-star rating but the room size, amenities and
service level were more than what you would expect from other hotels of the same
standard.
An area for improvement that I would
suggest is to beef up the security in the hotel by introducing electronic key
cards that restrict the use of the lifts to the floor where the room of the
checked-in guest is located. Without this safety feature, basically anyone can reach the
hotel rooms through the car park lifts.
At the time of our visit, the
hotel was running a promotion on room rates but you may want to check if the
promotional rates are still available before making a booking:
Standard room (1 Queen Bed) – RM178.00 nett Deluxe room (2 Queen Beds) – RM198.00 nett Premier room (1 King Bed) – RM238.00 nett 2-Bedroom Suite (1 King + 2 Queen Beds) – RM498.00 nett *rates inclusive of breakfast for up to 2 persons for Standard, Deluxe &
Premier Rooms and up to 4 persons for 2-Bedroom Suite
My Overall Verdict:
Location: 9/10
Hotel Ambiance: 7/10
Room Comfort: 8/10
Service: 8/10
Value for Money: 9/10
Palm
Seremban Hotel
Add:Jalan Sungai Ujong, 70200 Seremban, Negeri Sembilan Tel:+606-768 0088 Fax:+606-768 0099 Email:reservations@palmseremban.my Web:www.palmseremban.my
There is no such thing as being able to do it all. There is always a trade-off. Shonda Rhimes, the creator of Grey's Anatomy talked about her college dreams, juggling work and motherhood and how hashtag is completely useless in her Darthmouth Commencement Speech last year. Here is the complete transcript of her speech.
President Hanlon, faculty, staff, honored guests, parents, students, families and friends—good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth graduating class of 2014!
So.
This is weird.
Me giving a speech. In general, I do not like giving speeches. Giving a speech requires standing in front of large groups of people while they look at you and it also requires talking. I can do the standing part OK. But the you looking and the me talking ... I am not a fan. I get this overwhelming feeling of fear. Terror, really. Dry mouth, heart beats superfast, everything gets a little bit slow motion. Like I might pass out. Or die. Or poop my pants or something. I mean, don't worry. I'm not going to pass out or die or poop my pants. Mainly because just by telling you that it could happen, I have somehow neutralized it as an option. Like as if saying it out loud casts some kind of spell where now it cannot possibly happen now. Vomit. I could vomit. See. Vomiting is now also off the table. Neutralized it. We're good.
Anyway, the point is. I do not like to give speeches. I'm a writer. I'm a TV writer. I like to write stuff for other people to say. I actually contemplated bringing Ellen Pompeo or Kerry Washington here to say my speech for me ... but my lawyer pointed out that when you drag someone across state lines against their will, the FBI comes looking for you, so...
I don't like giving speeches, in general, because of the fear and terror. But this speech? This speech, I really did not want to give.
A Dartmouth Commencement speech? Dry mouth. Heart beats so, so fast. Everything in slow motion. Pass out, die, poop.
Look, it would be fine if this were, 20 years ago. If it were back in the day when I graduated from Dartmouth. Twenty-three years ago, I was sitting right where you are now. And I was listening to Elizabeth Dole speak. And she was great. She was calm and she was confident. It was just ... different. It felt like she was just talking to a group of people. Like a fireside chat with friends. Just Liddy Dole and like 9,000 of her closest friends. Because it was 20 years ago. And she was just talking to a group of people.
Now? Twenty years later? This is no fireside chat. It's not just you and me. This speech is filmed and streamed and tweeted and uploaded. NPR has like, a whole site dedicated to Commencement speeches. A whole site just about commencement speeches. There are sites that rate them and mock them and dissect them. It's weird. And stressful. And kind of vicious if you're an introvert perfectionist writer who hates speaking in public in the first place.
When President Hanlon called me—and by the way, I would like to thank President Hanlon for asking me way back in January, thus giving me a full six months of terror and panic to enjoy. When President Hanlon called me, I almost said no. Almost.
Dry mouth. Heart beats so, so fast. Everything in slow motion. Pass out, die, poop.
But I'm here. I am gonna do it. I'm doing it. You know why?
Because I like a challenge. And because this year I made myself a promise that I was going to do the stuff that terrifies me. And because, 20-plus years ago when I was trudging uphill from the River Cluster through all that snow to get to the Hop for play rehearsal, I never imagined that I would one day be standing here, at the Old Pine lectern. Staring out at all of you. About to throw down on some wisdom in the Dartmouth Commencement address.
So, you know, yeah. Moments.
Also, I'm here because I really, really wanted some EBAs.
OK.
I want to say right now that every single time someone asked me what I was going to talk about in this speech, I would boldly and confidently tell them that I had all kinds wisdom to share. I was lying. I feel wildly unqualified to give you advice. There is no wisdom here. So all I can do is talk about some stuff that could maybe be useful to you, from one Dartmouth grad to another. Some stuff that won't ever show up in a Meredith Grey voiceover or a Papa Pope monologue. Some stuff I probably shouldn't be telling you here now because of the uploading and the streaming and the tweeting. But I am going to pretend that it is 20 years ago. That it's just you and me. That we're having a fireside chat. Screw the outside world and what they think. I've already said "poop" like five times already anyway ... things are getting real up in here.
OK, wait. Before I talk to you. I want to talk to your parents. Because the other thing about it being 20 years later is that I'm a mother now. So I know some things, some very different things. I have three girls. I've been to the show. You don't know what that means, but your parents do. You think this day is all about you. But your parents ... the people who raised you ... the people who endured you ... they potty trained you, they taught you to read, they survived you as a teenager, they have suffered 21 years and not once did they kill you. This day ... you call it your graduation day. But this day is not about you. This is their day. This is the day they take back their lives, this is the day they earn their freedom. This day is their Independence Day. So, parents, I salute you. And as I have an eight-month-old, I hope to join your ranks of freedom in 20 years!
OK. So here comes the real deal part of the speech, or you might call it, Some Random Stuff Some Random Alum Who Runs a TV Show Thinks I Should Know Before I Graduate:
You ready?
When people give these kinds of speeches, they usually tell you all kinds of wise and heartfelt things. They have wisdom to impart. They have lessons to share. They tell you: Follow your dreams. Listen to your spirit. Change the world. Make your mark. Find your inner voice and make it sing. Embrace failure. Dream. Dream and dream big. As a matter of fact, dream and don't stop dreaming until all of your dreams come true.
I think that's crap.
I think a lot of people dream. And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really interesting, engaged, powerful people, are busy doing.
The dreamers. They stare at the sky and they make plans and they hope and they talk about it endlessly. And they start a lot of sentences with "I want to be ..." or "I wish."
"I want to be a writer." "I wish I could travel around the world."
And they dream of it. The buttoned-up ones meet for cocktails and they brag about their dreams, and the hippie ones have vision boards and they meditate about their dreams. Maybe you write in journals about your dreams or discuss it endlessly with your best friend or your girlfriend or your mother. And it feels really good. You're talking about it, and you're planning it. Kind of. You are blue-skying your life. And that is what everyone says you should be doing. Right? I mean, that's what Oprah and Bill Gates did to get successful, right?
No.
Dreams are lovely. But they are just dreams. Fleeting, ephemeral, pretty. But dreams do not come true just because you dream them. It's hard work that makes things happen. It's hard work that creates change.
So, Lesson One, I guess is: Ditch the dream and be a doer, not a dreamer. Maybe you know exactly what it is you dream of being, or maybe you're paralyzed because you have no idea what your passion is. The truth is, it doesn't matter. You don't have to know. You just have to keep moving forward. You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new. It doesn't have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfect life. Perfect is boring and dreams are not real. Just ... do. So you think, "I wish I could travel." Great. Sell your crappy car, buy a ticket to Bangkok, and go. Right now. I'm serious.
You want to be a writer? A writer is someone who writes every day, so start writing. You don't have a job? Get one. Any job. Don't sit at home waiting for the magical opportunity. Who are you? Prince William? No. Get a job. Go to work. Do something until you can do something else.
I did not dream of being a TV writer. Never, not once when I was here in the hallowed halls of the Ivy League, did I say to myself, "Self, I want to write TV."
You know what I wanted to be? I wanted to be Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison. That was my dream. I blue sky'ed it like crazy. I dreamed and dreamed. And while I was dreaming, I was living in my sister's basement. Dreamers often end up living in the basements of relatives, FYI. Anyway, there I was in that basement, and I was dreaming of being Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison. And guess what? I couldn't be Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison, because Toni Morrison already had that job and she wasn't interested in giving it up. So one day I was sitting in that basement and I read an article that said—it was in The New York Times—and it said it was harder to get into USC Film School than it was to get into Harvard Law School. And I thought I could dream about being Toni Morrison, or I could do.
At film school, I discovered an entirely new way of telling stories. A way that suited me. A way that brought me joy. A way that flipped this switch in my brain and changed the way I saw the world. Years later, I had dinner with Toni Morrison. All she wanted to talk about was Grey's Anatomy. That never would have happened if I hadn't stopped dreaming of becoming her and gotten busy becoming myself.
Lesson Two. Lesson two is that tomorrow is going to be the worst day ever for you.
When I graduated from Dartmouth that day in 1991, when I was sitting right where you are and I was staring up at Elizabeth Dole speaking, I will admit that I have no idea what she was saying. Couldn't even listen to her. Not because I was overwhelmed or emotional or any of that. But because I had a serious hangover. Like, an epic painful hangover because (and here is where I apologize to President Hanlon because I know that you are trying to build a better and more responsible Dartmouth and I applaud you and I admire you and it is very necessary) but I was really freaking drunk the night before. And the reason I'd been so drunk the night before, the reason I'd done upside down margarita shots at Bones Gate was because I knew that after graduation, I was going to take off my cap and gown, my parents were going to pack my stuff in the car and I was going to go home and probably never come back to Hanover again. And even if I did come back, it wouldn't matter because it wouldn't be the same because I didn't live here anymore.
On my graduation day, I was grieving.
My friends were celebrating. They were partying. They were excited. So happy. No more school, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks. And I was like, are you freaking kidding me? You get all the fro‑yo you want here! The gym is free. The apartments in Manhattan are smaller than my suite in North Mass. Who cared if there was no place to get my hair done? All my friends are here. I have a theatre company here. I was grieving. I knew enough about how the world works, enough about how adulthood plays out, to be grieving.
Here's where I am going to embarrass myself and make you all feel maybe a little bit better about yourselves. I literally lay down on the floor of my dorm room and cried while my mother packed up my room. I refused to help her. Like, hell no I won't go. I nonviolent-protested leaving here. Like, went limp like a protestor, only without the chanting—it was really pathetic. If none of you lie down on a dirty hardwood floor and cry today while your mommy packs up your dorm room, you are already starting your careers out ahead of me. You are winning.
But here's the thing. The thing I really felt like I knew was that the real world sucks. And it is scary. College is awesome. You're special here. You're in the Ivy League, you are at the pinnacle of your life's goals at this point—your entire life up until now has been about getting into some great college and then graduating from that college. And now, today, you have done it. The moment you get out of college, you think you are going to take the world by storm. All doors will be opened to you. It's going to be laughter and diamonds and soirees left and right.
What really happens is that, to the rest of the world, you are now at the bottom of the heap. Maybe you're an intern, possibly a low-paid assistant. And it is awful. The real world, it sucked so badly for me. I felt like a loser all of the time. And more than a loser? I felt lost.
Which brings me to clarify lesson number two.
Tomorrow is going to be the worst day ever for you. But don't be an asshole.
Here's the thing. Yes, it is hard out there. But hard is relative. I come from a middle-class family, my parents are academics, I was born after the civil rights movement, I was a toddler during the women's movement, I live in the United States of America, all of which means I'm allowed to own my freedom, my rights, my voice, and my uterus; and I went to Dartmouth and I earned an Ivy League degree.
The lint in my navel that accumulated while I gazed at it as I suffered from feeling lost about how hard it was to not feel special after graduation ... that navel lint was embarrassed for me.
Elsewhere in the world, girls are harmed simply because they want to get an education. Slavery still exists. Children still die from malnutrition. In this country, we lose more people to handgun violence than any other nation in the world. Sexual assault against women in America is pervasive and disturbing and continues at an alarming rate.
So yes, tomorrow may suck for you—as it did for me. But as you stare at the lint in your navel, have some perspective. We are incredibly lucky. We have been given a gift. An incredible education has been placed before us. We ate all the fro-yo we could get our hands on. We skied. We had EBAs at 1 a.m. We built bonfires and got frostbite and had all the free treadmills. We beer-ponged our asses off. Now it's time to pay it forward.
Find a cause you love. It's OK to pick just one. You are going to need to spend a lot of time out in the real world trying to figure out how to stop feeling like a lost loser, so one cause is good. Devote some time every week to it.
Oh. And while we are discussing this, let me say a thing. A hashtag is not helping. #yesallwomen #takebackthenight #notallmen #bringbackourgirls #StopPretendingHashtagsAreTheSameAsDoingSomething
Hashtags are very pretty on Twitter. I love them. I will hashtag myself into next week. But a hashtag is not a movement. A hashtag does not make you Dr. King. A hashtag does not change anything. It's a hashtag. It's you, sitting on your butt, typing on your computer and then going back to binge-watching your favorite show. I do it all the time. For me, it's Game of Thrones.
Volunteer some hours. Focus on something outside yourself. Devote a slice of your energies towards making the world suck less every week. Some people suggest doing this will increase your sense of well-being. Some say it's good karma. I say that it will allow you to remember that, whether you are a legacy or the first in your family to go to college, the air you are breathing right now is rare air. Appreciate it. Don't be an asshole.
Lesson number three.
So you're out there, and you're giving back and you're doing, and it's working. And life is good. You are making it. You're a success. And it's exciting and it's great. At least it is for me. I love my life. I have three TV shows at work and I have three daughters at home. And it's all amazing, and I am truly happy. And people are constantly asking me, how do you do it?
And usually, they have this sort of admiring and amazed tone.
Shonda, how do you do it all?
Like I'm full of magical magic and special wisdom-ness or something.
How do you do it all?
And I usually just smile and say like, "I'm really organized." Or if I'm feeling slightly kindly, I say, "I have a lot of help."
And those things are true. But they also are not true.
And this is the thing that I really want to say. To all of you. Not just to the women out there. Although this will matter to you women a great deal as you enter the work force and try to figure out how to juggle work and family. But it will also matter to the men, who I think increasingly are also trying to figure out how to juggle work and family. And frankly, if you aren't trying to figure it out, men of Dartmouth, you should be. Fatherhood is being redefined at a lightning-fast rate. You do not want to be a dinosaur.
So women and men of Dartmouth: As you try to figure out the impossible task of juggling work and family and you hear over and over and over again that you just need a lot of help or you just need to be organized or you just need to try just a little bit harder ... as a very successful woman, a single mother of three, who constantly gets asked the question "How do you do it all?" For once I am going to answer that question with 100 percent honesty here for you now. Because it's just us. Because it's our fireside chat. Because somebody has to tell you the truth.
Shonda, how do you do it all?
The answer is this: I don't.
Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means I am failing in another area of my life.
If I am killing it on a Scandal script for work, I am probably missing bath and story time at home. If I am at home sewing my kids' Halloween costumes, I'm probably blowing off a rewrite I was supposed to turn in. If I am accepting a prestigious award, I am missing my baby's first swim lesson. If I am at my daughter's debut in her school musical, I am missing Sandra Oh's last scene ever being filmed at Grey's Anatomy. If I am succeeding at one, I am inevitably failing at the other. That is the tradeoff. That is the Faustian bargain one makes with the devil that comes with being a powerful working woman who is also a powerful mother. You never feel a hundred percent OK; you never get your sea legs; you are always a little nauseous. Something is always lost.
Something is always missing.
And yet. I want my daughters to see me and know me as a woman who works. I want that example set for them. I like how proud they are when they come to my offices and know that they come to Shondaland. There is a land and it is named after their mother. In their world, mothers run companies. In their world, mothers own Thursday nights. In their world, mothers work. And I am a better mother for it. The woman I am because I get to run Shondaland, because I get write all day, because I get to spend my days making things up, that woman is a better person—and a better mother. Because that woman is happy. That woman is fulfilled. That woman is whole. I wouldn't want them to know the me who didn't get to do this all day long. I wouldn't want them to know the me who wasn't doing.
Lesson Number Three is that anyone who tells you they are doing it all perfectly is a liar.
OK.
I fear I've scared you or been a little bit bleak, and that was not my intention. It is my hope that you run out of here, excited, leaning forward, into the wind, ready to take the world by storm. That would be so very fabulous. For you to do what everyone expects of you. For you to just go be exactly the picture of hardcore Dartmouth awesome.
My point, I think, is that it is OK if you don't. My point is that it can be scary to graduate. That you can lie on the hardwood floor of your dorm room and cry while your mom packs up your stuff. That you can have an impossible dream to be Toni Morrison that you have to let go of. That every day you can feel like you might be failing at work or at your home life. That the real world is hard.
And yet, you can still wake up every single morning and go, "I have three amazing kids and I have created work I am proud of, and I absolutely love my life and I would not trade it for anyone else's life ever."
You can still wake up one day and find yourself living a life you never even imagined dreaming of.
My dreams did not come true. But I worked really hard. And I ended up building an empire out of my imagination. So my dreams? Can suck it.
You can wake up one day and find that you are interesting and powerful and engaged. You can wake up one day and find that you are a doer.
You can be sitting right where you are now. Looking up at me. Probably—hopefully, I pray for you—hung over. And then 20 years from now, you can wake up and find yourself in the Hanover Inn full of fear and terror because you are going to give the Commencement speech. Dry mouth. Heart beats so, so fast. Everything in slow motion. Pass out, die, poop.
Which one of you will it be? Which member of the 2014 class is going to find themselves standing up here? Because I checked and it is pretty rare for an alum to speak here. It's pretty much just me and Robert Frost and Mr. Rogers, which is crazy awesome.
Which one of you is going to make it up here? I really hope that it's one of you. Seriously.
When it happens, you'll know what this feels like.
Dry mouth. Heart beats so, so fast. Everything moves in slow motion.
Graduates, every single one of you, be proud of your accomplishments. Make good on your diplomas.
You are no longer students. You are no longer works in progress. You are now citizens of the real world. You have a responsibility to become a person worthy of joining and contributing to society. Because who you are today ... that's who you are.
So be brave.
Be amazing.
Be worthy.
And every single time you get a chance?
Stand up in front of people.
Let them see you. Speak. Be heard.
Go ahead and have the dry mouth.
Let your heart beat so, so fast.
Watch everything move in slow motion.
So what?
You what?
You pass out, you die, you poop?
No.
And this is really the only lesson you'll ever need to know ...
