And Then It Is Winter

I was so moved by this piece of writing that I feel obliged to share it with you guys here.

The thought-provoking message, which was written by an unidentified author, has been around on the Internet for quite some time. However, it only gained traction here in Malaysia after it was made known that the late Tan Sri Dr Jamaluddin Jarjis had posted it to his WhatsApp group just a few days before he and five other people perished in a helicopter crash on April 4.

Our deepest sympathies go out to the family of the late Tan Sri and the families of the other victims. May the souls of the dearly departed, through the mercy of Allah, rest in eternal peace. Al-Fatihah.

AND THEN IT IS WINTER

You know ... time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams.

But, here it is... the "back nine" of my life and it catches me by surprise... How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that "I was only on the first hole" and the "back nine" was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like.

But, here it is ... my friends are retired and getting grey... they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me... but, I see the great change ... Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant ... but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd become.

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore ... it's mandatory! ‘Cause if I don't on my own free will ... I just fall asleep where I sit!

And so ... now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!! But, at least I know, that though I'm on the "back nine", and I'm not sure how long it will last ... this I know, that when it's over on this earth ... it's over. A new adventure will begin! Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done ... things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime.

So, if you're not on the "back nine" yet ... let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don't put things off too long!! Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether you're on the "back nine" or not!

You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life ... so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember ... and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the years past!!

"Life" is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one. LIVE IT WELL! ENJOY TODAY! DO SOMETHING FUN! BE HAPPY! HAVE A GREAT DAY! Remember, "It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver. LIVE HAPPY IN 2015!

LASTLY, CONSIDER THIS: Your kids are becoming you .... but your grandchildren are perfect! Going out is good ... Coming home is better! You forget names .... But it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!! You realize you're never going to be really good at anything ... especially golf. The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore. You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep". You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch…You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"..." ??? Now that you can afford expensive jewellery, it's not safe to wear it anywhere. You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!! What used to be freckles are now liver spots. Everybody whispers. You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ... 2 of which you will never wear. But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!

Stay well, "OLD FRIEND!" Send this on to other "Old Friends!" and let them laugh in AGREEMENT!!! It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY!

Lotsa Luv

Info credit: http://www.thestar.com.my/

Forgive Me

I was browsing through the January 2015 issue of Reader’s Digest, my favorite magazine in the world when I came across an article titled ‘Why We Forgive’. It was an extract from ‘The Book of Forgiving’ written by Desmond Tutu, the South African social rights activist. Tutu wrote about his traumatic childhood growing up with an abusive father and how forgiveness is truly difficult but necessary to enable the healing process.

The last few sentences of that article really struck a chord with me: 

“We don’t forgive to help the other person. 

We don’t forgive for others. 

We forgive for ourselves”.

For many years, I have carried the heavy burden of guilt for what happened to my best friend, Dee. Here is my story.

Dee and I met during orientation week at university. We were standing in a long queue and she was right in front of me when she turned, smiled the sweetest smile and said, “This is embarrassing, but I really need to go to the washroom. Can you save my place in the queue?”

I smiled back and said “Sure, the queue’s not moving that fast, anyway”. She said thanks and went off quickly. When she came back 10 minutes later, we started talking and over the next 2 years, became the best of friends.

Our friendship began to change when Dee started dating a guy in her class. She began spending most of her time with him and it got to a point where she neglected her studies and her grades suffered. When I asked Dee about it, she simply laughed it off, told me not to worry and said everything was under control.

One day I got a call from Dee’s mum. I have met Dee’s family before when I had gone back with Dee to her hometown to celebrate Hari Raya. Dee’s mum was worried why Dee had not been returning home for quite some time. When Dee’s mum asked me what was going on with her daughter, I had no choice but to tell her everything. How Dee was skipping classes and missing assignment deadlines because she was going out too frequently. I told Dee’s mum that I had tried talking to Dee about it but it had gotten nowhere so her mum said that she would discuss with Dee’s dad on what had to be done.

Later that evening, Dee stormed into my room. She was crying and shouting and saying that I had no right to interfere in her life. I told Dee her mum was sick with worry and deserved to know what’s going on. Dee accused me of being jealous; she said she hated me and never wanted to see me again. Then she left.

That was the last time I saw Dee. I thought that after our argument, she had gone back to her room. Unfortunately I was wrong. Dee had actually driven off in her car and according to the police, she was driving at very high speed when the car crashed into a tree. She died on the spot.

All this happened many years ago but the memory of it all is still fresh in my mind and the pain has not fully gone away. I never stopped blaming myself for what happened to Dee.

If I could talk to Dee for one last time, this is what I would say to her:

“Dee, I’m so sorry we got into that horrible fight. I wish I could go back to the time when we shared so much joy and laughter.

I’m sad that I will never see your sweet smile again, just like the one you gave me when we first met.

I hope that you have forgiven me for not being the friend you deserved so that I too, can forgive myself for what happened to you.”

The article in Reader's Digest has made me realized that life is too short to be living in sadness and regret. I must forgive myself in order for the much-needed healing process to begin. I know that Dee would have wanted that for me.

Rest in peace, my friend. I miss you.

Lotsa Luv